Thursday, January 17, 2008

Letting Go & Bringing Back


In the course of our lives, many people come and go.

I have often believed that these people do not come to us by chance; they all come to us for a reason.

We should try to keep them as far as reasonably possible, at least until you know your duty to that person or the reason for that person coming in your life has been fulfilled; one often knows these things intuitively.

I have attempted to keep as many of these persons as possible, because I read once that it is easy to make friends but more important to keep them.

But my ex-boss once told me that it is foolish to think we can keep all our loved ones!

Sometimes, circumstances change, values evolve and new priorities arise such that what you see as important are not longer in synch with what the other person may see as important.

Often, the company or presence of such people leave you feeling negative. In such cases, he told me we need to really evaluate if we can accommodate such persons in our lives.

Where one finds it difficult, it is better to move away until such time you can accomodate that person. But in doing so, it is important to make clear to that person why it is necessary for you to do so.

Some of my friends have had to do this to their respective loved ones in recent times.

Nevertheless, while moving away can be tough, I believe things do get better eventually.

After a few days, months or even years, it may be useful to make contact with that person again to see if you can start from where you left off or a fresh point.

This week, I did this with someone I had lost touch with for some 5 years now.

That person is now a successful teacher in a top school (he corrects me: "the top school"), and the students there regard him greatly.

In fact, I now know that he is so impressive that the minister responsible for education actually sat through one his classes two years ago!

I only found him because, many months ago, I read a blog posting of one of his charges who sung praises of him and even posted a picture of him on the blog! To avoid embarassing him, I shall not be linking to his student's blog.

I called him this morning and we had a brief conversation. It's like time had not passed between us and we were still the army boys we once were (although he sounds a whole lot mellower now).

I look forward to celebrating our tenth year of friendship with him next week!

Dharmendra Yadav

Please consider the environment - do you really need to print this?

No comments: